I question my morality.

I was raised by a fanatical single mom who threatened me with eternal Hell if I didn’t do as I was told. Literally. I doubt I’ll ever get over it. But I’ve a fair rational faculty, and I’ve chosen to embrace my faith rather than recoil from it. I’ve discovered Jesus really isn’t the guy she said he is.

Still, I wonder about my motives. When I think I ‘should’ do something, perhaps I’m subtly pondering some eternal reward. If I believe I ‘should not’ do something, maybe I’m simply afraid I’ll have to answer for it when I die.

This is a heavy load to carry, so I’ve tried not to burden my children with it. I think the morality I’ve invited them into exists; that sensitive, relaxed people can intuitively feel and act according to the presence of genuine good and evil, as these confront them. But I don’t often see it around me.

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