That said

I hope my decision to remain faithful to my God concept isn’t off-putting. I’m a little distressed to find my positions on physics and consciousness are about a hundred years old. I’m sure there are deep thinkers today who have advanced our comprehension of life in ways which will surprise and exhilarate me. I want to go there. I want to move beyond the mere urge to insist our minds are simply our bodies to the proof that this is so. I’m very interested in the morality that emerges from a conviction our soul is an expected manifestation of our flesh.

The problem, until I discover my way around it, is the very ineffability of my soul is what makes it impossible for me to kill it off. If consciousness is, metaphorically, like a cloud of super activity animated inside a mechanical structure sufficiently complex, which switches on and off with the power supplied to the structure – still, how does that persuade me the cloud isn’t something different?

To think of my complex, self-reflective presence as a product of electric circuit operation on a matrix, really, isn’t much different than thinking of myself as a soul inhabiting a body. In either case, something mysterious has taken up residence. The problem doesn’t seem to be solved by announcing my consciousness and its substrate are the same thing.

So I feel I may be looking in the wrong place for understanding. I’m trying to identify the impossible as a real event. Perhaps I should attend to my way of thinking. There is some benefit, I think, to people who have discovered the certainty they are only what they appear. They amount to the sum of their molecules. And they die.


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