Frame of reference

I’ll happily brag about my children. Unlike those of multitudes, my boasts have substance. This doesn’t mean we always get along well. Evan has enjoyed real latitude in personal behavior ever since we struck a deal years ago: ‘perfect performance at school, do what you want.’

He recently transferred to a school ‘of the Arts,’ and for once in our collective lives, the family was looking at a child with something less than a perfect report card.

There was a particularly stubborn and persistent ‘B’ in something called ‘participation.’ I don’t really know what ‘participation’ is, but I know what a ‘B’ is, and I’m frankly horrified contemplating how to exact vengeance should Evan break our aforementioned deal. So I spoke to him.

He said, “Dad, you don’t understand! Participation is something that is never used in high school. It absolutely never comes up in real life!’


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