In my quest for meaning (perhaps you’ve noticed: I’m on a quest for meaning) – in my quest for meaning I occasionally stumble upon a piece of technology. These are interesting because the sum of what’s happening in science coheres into what might be an entire Answer to the Question. I have to suggest it could be the Entire Answer because I am Open Minded – and everything in me rebels against the possibility. So, like all things that frighten me, I try to embrace it; to make it my own.

My understanding of Scientific Morality is weak, because my understanding of science is: it’s purely descriptive and structural. You can hang whatever you want on it – and Morality is the ‘whatever you want’ that gets hung. So, sort of by definition, Scientific Morality just – isn’t.

But I must persevere. I recently saw a video of a man with one leg walking up and down a staircase on a fake leg operated by his own neural transmitters, and he walked just like a man. So we can be done with this thought game: of course there will one day be an entire fake man powered by his own – ‘fake’ – neural transmitters. What will this man think? How will this man feel?

I have observable symptoms of defined mental illnesses some people find quite scary, and this man will have none of these. I know this because, already, I can ingest chemicals which ‘resolve’ my own problems. This man will certainly have ingested them. Indeed, he’ll have a ‘natural balance’ monitor which automatically maintains all his systems – at ‘normal.’

I wonder what it will feel like to be normal. It will happen, even to me, because the pressure to be like everyone else is intense. Try not carrying a cellphone. I will eventually, begrudgingly, submit to the treatments, and since it will ‘feel’ ‘good’ to be ‘normal’ – I will like it. I have no way to prepare for this. I don’t understand how normal people feel.

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