Belligerent atheism

I watched a comic anti-religion movie with Evan. The host/narrator laughed his way through common-sense interviews with a range of religious characters, all awkward and absurd in their convictions as such people inevitably are. Evan, who’s keen for me to see the light and abandon my love of Jesus, waited silently at the end. And I waited. So at length he asked, ‘so, do you think he’s right?’

‘Yep. I pretty much agree with everything he said.’

‘So?’

I wondered if he was waiting for me to stand up and make a renunciation right there.

‘I think, Evan, that unless or until you feel a private need for faith in your life, this is the best approach for you to take.’

He looked a little let down. His dad apparently hadn’t budged. But we’re getting closer to covering the point. I think the basic fact of living experience is someone loves us. On the whole, we continue to exist because this is true. Furnished with biological imperatives alone, we would decline and cease. We do not. We perpetrate the worst horrors on each other, but our survivors are healed and forgiven and warmed to love again.

I don’t like any other versions of the story. My life is purely an echo of love – not just from others (though I am indebted forever, thank you all), but from something that feels like love itself.

My life is a foxhole, and I’m going to worship something. Evan stands so strong and healthy and beautiful in the sunshine, and knows nothing of hate or personal defeat. I’m pleased the Lord has put him in the hands of the atheists until he is ready.

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