No chance

I’ve been thinking about young mothers in the United States. For the first time, more than half are unmarried. Except the college-educated. Those girls still pair up before parenthood. I wonder if it’s about success. I wonder what ‘success’ is.

I need to get out more. I need to learn how people think. I don’t know what we all expect. I walk by a woman on the street and I can’t imagine what she’s hoping for. Maybe she’s just like me: I don’t know why I woke up this morning. Outside my imagination, I’ve got no control over what happens to me today.

I could probably find some young single mothers, since most young mothers are, and ask them what they’re thinking. But I wouldn’t understand the answers. My experience is all about security and control, like those college-educated girls’. They sign a contract with somebody, work their asses off for thirty years and own their own big homes in the right neighborhoods some day. We don’t really have to wonder if it’s enough. We took what we were offered.

More than half our kids don’t get an offer, and they do what I would do. They do what they can. I’m raising children with a spouse, because I can, and I pray for the best for my boys. Maybe those single mothers would like a spouse helping out, too. Maybe their girlfriends and boyfriends and parents already help enough, and that’s the way they want it. Maybe some single moms are strong, independent, and secure; happy to be raising their little ones by themselves. Maybe some of them are desperate and helpless and stuck. But none of us are going anywhere on our own.

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